[28 Apr 2005|04:09pm] Lame people make me laugh. I'll remind you that I'm just as lame as well. Fucking HA. post comment

[20 Apr 2005|05:25pm] Well I have been having a number of problems financially lately. School, my job, school, not enough pay, rent rent and rent...when do I have the extra money for food. Food is a necessity. Then there are the payments on the two credit cards that I have. Wow. Things need to just lighten up a bit before I go insane...though I really believe that I am already. That boy I mentioned a while back. We are still together. In short, he has been really wonderful to me, and hopefully in return-I to him as well. He is taking me out to dinner tonight. Some place nice he said. I'm excited. I get to see him and he is taking me out. Phew, one less dinner to pay for. Well aside from work and school and sleeping I've not had much time for this journal. I've tried to keep up with some commenting and a few random updates here and there. Wow. This boy makes me happy. I cannot wait to leave soon. Take care everybody. post comment

[13 Mar 2005|04:25pm] I haven't been updating as I should or used to. So much has been going on in my life and I've been trying to figure things out on my own. No need for others advice when I rarely will listen. A random boy came into my life a few weeks ago. I'm not sure what to think of the situation, but whatever comes out of this will surely not only be a basic friendship. He's taken my mind off of the bad things that have been happening and is trying to get me out of the drunken scene. I'd do it for him, and myself. Well, last night was the exception though. I really would like to move out of Colorado. I've been here my whole life and I need more, I need the expierience, I need it all. I am selfish...fuck, who isn't? You really just wont admit it. 1 comment|post comment

[24 Feb 2005|07:41pm] I got extremely shitfaced this weekend. I went to a party with some new friends and it was total fun. Too much. And all the time I wanted to make some great impression on them but what's the point when everyones shitfaced?! Right. I would rather not do that again, but what the hell. An expierience si the start for deciding things and learning. So no one fucking scold me-at least I didn't wake up with some random man lying next to me, clothes sprawled around the floor and stupidly wondering what happened. It's constantly like I'm trying to adjust, as if I moved into a new town. I like meeting new people but I never seem to make a close connection and have them turn to real friends. I think I keep everyone at some length of distance and most of the time think it's better that way. Besides, some friends just cause drama and I've had too much of it to deal with in the past. Well I know the world is not out to get me, so I'm going to go tackle it. Until next time. *Steph post comment

[20 Feb 2005|07:25pm] It was just another broken dream which I could not mend. These weak hands on my arms. They lied I tried till I bled. Maybe I am just not that strong. Know, that I did try. post comment

[18 Feb 2005|12:07pm] I have got a headache so badly right now that if I slightly grit my teeth i can feel my brain pulse. ::has an anurysm attack:: post comment

[11 Feb 2005|02:17pm] EDITED ENTRY Streaking. Through. The. Rain. I am sick of the ones who cry merely for the attention. What they're getting is a strong foundation of enemies. And you thought you were doing so well. You can't even look at your face anymore. And when you do you can't look past what you have done. What you think of yourself. And what you have become. Doesn't it make you sick? If not yet, it'll make you sick in the worst way. Alone with yourself. Alone with your no good use of a brain. Your mind deteriorating because you were wrong and it stuck to you for good. For Ever. I'm dying. But you are rotting. post comment

[07 Feb 2005|10:53pm] Oh ETHYL alcohol i LOVE you. 2 comments|post comment

[01 Feb 2005|12:46pm] Being that I really have not eaten in the last two days, I figured it would be best to well-fucking not make that a habit- and eat. Besides, I was beginning to feel a tad weak. I make myself these instant freezer pizzas and yes, they ARE pretty good. Till I get to the last piece that tastes like the peperoni is RAW. RAW. RAW! So moments before I was typing this, I was gagging myself trying to keep that reflex calm. Jesus Christ, I should sue. post comment

online battles. [29 Jan 2005|04:18pm] I found an Interpol poster yesterday. Free. Claimed as MINE. I have to say I find Interpol amazingly sexy. Yeah, they ARE always on an extasy ride but...the music, the band...le wow. I had a totally trippy day. I haven't talked to a single friend today and it doesnt bug me the least. I mean I always wonder what they are all doing when I have some time to think and appreciate them and they aren't around...but today is different. Well if I do talk to them. One piece of news they will not be hearing of is that I've succummed to the bowels of the internet and have created a livejournal. post comment

[29 Jan 2005|12:24pm] [ music | the radio. ] It's amazing. It's un-unique. It's embarassing. I just fell into the cult of a livejournal. Being outspoken in the real world is just not enough. I now have had it moved to the web. Well I'm not here to please people, this journal is for myself. As for journal friends, I have none, 0. But I JUST created this and so 167 + friends (as everyone else seem to have) is just not possible. Interesting people please. But I am not picky at all. 3 comments|post comment

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